I have seen way too many posts recently online by women suffering with Alopecia, sharing the negative comments being received by bullies online. I will be sharing advice that I have tried to implement over the years and touch into the importance of why being kind and refraining from adding to one’s negative space is so important.
There is always one thing that I constantly think when I come across negativity online generally as well as bullying attached to hair loss. It is NEVER about you, there is nothing wrong with you and you are not the problem. They are. Chances are, the people who find the need to mock the way you look or share negative comments to you with regards to your hair loss, have insecurities and issues of their own that they are projecting onto you. It is so important to note this and understand that you are not the cause of the bullying behavior.
Here are some advice and strategies I have put together to hopefully help those who may be experiencing this online or by people around you.
Take in support
Talk about it, with a friend or a family member, don’t internalize what these people are saying about you because then you’ll start to believe it. It’s also so important to keep in mind that you are not alone! Understand that these attacks stem from their own insecurities, inadequacies, and own issues. They are not valid attacks and they have nothing to do with you.
Block, Block, Block!
If you see a comment or notice an account online constantly making comments and making fun of you, report that account and block them. They do not deserve to have your attention; it is harassment and they shouldn’t be allowed to!
If you go to school or an institution and you do not have this option, walk away or file a complaint. You do not need to stand there and listen, you are not obliged to listen to opinions that are not true about yourself. Walk away!
Stand up for yourself – educate them, but don’t stoop to their level.
Never let someone get you out of character. We can stand up for ourselves in so many different ways and educating someone on their damaging behavior can increase enlightenment. However, it’s important that you don’t rely on this. A lot of people who harbor negativity don’t like to take on criticism. So, if you are standing up for yourself do it for yourself and others like you with the intention to create a more positive space. If that person chooses to change their ways that’s great, if not, it’s not your fault and block them!
Do not re-read comments
You’ll only start to become obsessive over these opinions if you re-read comments. First thing you should do is delete them or block the account. Remember, if you allow someone’s negative energy to reach you, only then, will it take its toll. If you remove their presence from the get-go, then you are creating a barrier. If this person is persistent and comments from multiple accounts, then document the harassment and report it to the relevant group.
Raise awareness!
Raise awareness about the issue. If you speak out against it and how unacceptable it is, you will be adding to the community trying to get rid of this growing problem. Stick up for people who you can see are being bullied and stand up for those who you know won’t stand up for themselves. We are all in this together and have a responsibility to make this platform a safer space. Don’t let them silence you!
Report them!
No one should get away with bullying. Report their accounts if the bullying is taking place online and make it known that they are not following community guidelines. Similarly, if this is happening face to face, report them to the relevant person in charge. I know it can feel threatening, but by doing so, you are putting them in a compromising position and will create awareness about what this person is doing.
Unfortunately, bullying is a growing problem whether it be at school, work, cyber-bullying, etc. We cannot control people or how they act, but what we can control is how we respond. If you are someone who reads or hears negativity and are a victim of being bullied, please don’t forget that you are not alone. There are groups in society who unfortunately cannot manage what their own internal conflicts are and their first defense is to take it out on those they find most vulnerable. Keep your head up and remind yourself daily that this is not a problem derived by you. It is the result of someone not dealing with their own issues.
Please take this as a reminder to be kind, thoughtful and remain compassionate. If you hear someone bullying another person, stand up for them. If you hear someone judging another person because of their appearance, stand up for them. Be reflective in the role you play in this society, and don’t be an enabler! It is our duty and responsibility to take care of each other and prevent our platforms that are meant to be positive and inspiring from turning into a place of negativity.
Stay strong! If you are suffering and feel alone/have no one to talk to please do reach out. I will always try my hardest to be there and reply.
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XO