Validation - It's not JUST hair!

I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve read or heard ‘’it’s just hair’’ or ‘’at least it’s not cancer’’. Don’t say it and don’t accept it!

Don't get me wrong, it can also be damaging to believe that you are defined solely by your hair loss as this is definitely not true. However, hearing someone use these phrases, can feel incredibly invalidating and take away the feeling of being able to freely express how hair loss is affecting you.

It's not JUST hair!

It is possible to practice gratitude for not enduring a more life threatening condition, whilst feeling upset or sad about your hair loss. Yes it is not something worse, but it does not mean it feels like something better.

Validating your feelings

Most of the time invalidation is unintentional, especially when coming from loved ones. However, this does not mean you can't correct someone if they are coming across in a way that takes away how you feel. By doing so, you are educating them as well as creating room for them to provide a safer space for the next time others or yourself wish to vent. It can be extremely helpful talking to others, but it is also crucial to learn how to self-soothe and self-validate too. Self-care and self-love is a huge part of healing and dealing with pain!

Here are some tips to help you achieve this:

Accept your feelings without judgement.

Avoid judging yourself for feeling how you feel. You are allowed to feel sad, or angry. You are allowed to feel like this shouldn’t be happening to you. Don’t tell yourself how you should be feeling or make yourself feel guilty for feeling these things. Comfort yourself the same way you would comfort someone else in your position.

Exercise positive self-talk.

You would be surprised how much this helps! Practicing self-talk can boost your confidence, increase self-security and acts as a helpful reminder of who you are on the days you feel like you’re not so sure anymore. Get any jar and fill it up with positive notes about yourself.

These could be notes on your strengths, your achievements, your fave things about yourself and so on. Reading these on a bad day can be super uplifting and remind you that you are not as weak as you may be feeling. You are so much more!

Allow yourself to feel.

Give yourself permission to feel these emotions. By resisting them, you are simply creating the possibility of them manifesting into something greater or perhaps an escalated reaction to something. I used to do this and tell myself it’s better to stay distracted and not feel these thoughts and feelings that are creeping in. This could not be further from the truth. Once these feelings are felt, they begin to change over time. You can do this by writing about how you feel in a journal, or simply allowing yourself to cry before going to sleep. This is not weakness, this is freeing yourself and building emotional strength.

'' Validating feeling's does not mean you make them more true; it means you remind someone it is human to feel things they don't always understand.'''